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  1. Home - The Onion

    The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

  2. Latest - The Onion

    1 day ago · Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

  3. Entertainment Archives - The Onion

    4 days ago · Girl group Katseye is nominated for two awards at the 2026 Grammys, including Best New Artist. The Onion shares everything you need to know about… Grey’s Anatomy first …

  4. Politics Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. SILVER SPRING, MD—Praising the drug’s …

  5. Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash - The Onion

    Jul 2, 2007 · Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

  6. About Us - The Onion

    The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events.

  7. Local Archives - The Onion

    1 day ago · Local Community Does Jack Shit To Make Christmas Better For Town’s Second-Poorest Family Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The …

  8. American Voices Archives - The Onion

    1 day ago · Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter

  9. Cartoons Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The Onion Today

  10. Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your …

    Jun 20, 2025 · That is why, today, The Onion calls upon our lawmakers to sit back and do absolutely nothing. Members of Congress—now, more than ever, our nation desperately …