In this clip, Dr. John Gottman explains that it’s not really about having too many bids for connection. The real problem is when only one person’s bids seem to count. Your needs matter just as much as your partner’s. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” is a bid. “Can you sit with me?” is a bid. “I need 30 minutes to myself” is a bid too. You’re allowed to ask for connection. You’re allowed to ask for space. Both are valid, and both deserve to be heard. | The Gottman Institute

Dr. John Gottman calls bids for connection the small, everyday moments that build or break a relationship. A shared laugh, a gentle touch, even a simple question or pointing out a bird. These are all ways we seek connection with our partners. The key? How we respond. Turning toward bids strengthens trust and intimacy, while turning away can create distance over time. Want to learn how to recognize and respond to bids for connection? Watch the full video on our youtube channel. https://youtu.be/o